One afternoon, as Captain Hook (a rather tall fellow by the name of Will) was declaiming loudly and passionately how he was going to murder Peter Pan by forcing him to eat a cake, a girl of around four or five years old walked out of the audience right up to him, and offered him a miniature snickers bar. Will, focused out towards the back of the audience, completely failed to notice the young lady who was less than a third of his height.
"Arr captain!" I said to him as he paused, "There be a wee child offering ye a sweetie. 'Twould be rude not tae accept it!" (All pirates, you see, are scottish.)
Will looked at me, and then glanced down at the innocent model of childhood in front of him, hand still outstretched. "Why thank you!" he said, and took the sweet. The girl trundled back into the crowd.
Having successfully negotiated the audience interaction, he now turned his attention to the candy. It was wrapped in the style of a bon bon which presented some difficulty. He had an artificial hook on one hand, and had no way of opening the lolly. His brow creased in obvious distress as he tried to think his way out of the situation, as all the pirates on stage tried to hide their laughter.
"Would ye like me to open that for ye captain?" I asked, wide eyed and innocent.
"Thank you!" He said and passed it to me. There was an almighty hush as I took the offending candy and unwrapped it, then popped it into my mouth. I sucked for a couple of moments, with a look of fierce concentration, then spat it out and proffered it to him.
"Arr captain, it definitely not be poisoned," I cheerfully announced.
"You're too kind," said he through clenched teeth. And, glaring all the while, plucked sweet from my hand, placed it in his mouth, and swallowed it in one gulp. He turned back to the audience, the adult contingent of which were falling over themselves with laughter at this point, and said "... what was I up to?"
"Quick!" I said, "Fetch the captains script!"
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