What They Say Behind Your Back

I'm currently ushering for a West End show which doesn't deserve to be on the West End. So, whenever a group of us guys are on foyer duty (which, when it's only guys, we've dubbed the "boyer" - to rhyme with oi vey) we play games.

You'd assume it would be poker, or canasta, or something which actually requires skill. Unfortunately, if our manager catches us slacking off, he'd invent some work for us to do. So instead of wasting our time productively, we came up with the Penis game.

It's not the usual Penis game (saying it louder until someone has to shout it up), or even the guessing Penis game (Okay, so, try and find a place here that I haven't put my penis in. It's not easy) - rather, tis a movie based penis game.

You state the name of a movie, and at the end, say penis.

Current winners are (in no particular order):

Dr. No Penis

What Women Want: Penis

Romancing the Stone Penis

Love? Actually Penis

Revenge of the Nerd's Penis

Fast and the Furious Penis

The Spirits Within Penis

A Lifeless Ordinary Penis.

After we were in fits of giggles for five minutes from the last contender, my mate turned to me. "We all have degrees."